The Best Offspring
If you would've known me two to three years ago you would've considered me a serious mess.
From not having a decent schedule with the kids and the house work and cooking and the extra activities that Dill had I was a dramatic mess.
This last 11 months I have been learning that the little things matter. The way that my children greet me at the door now (LOUD AND ASKING FOR SOMETHING) use to drive me nuts. Coming home from an extremely emotionally draining job, I use to feel like "Give mommy a minute PUHLEASE" now, they are the very people that I run to! They each bring me a certain thing to complete my after-work care.
Dill- She's my big girl. Currently pulling All A's in school and she is an amazing big sister.. She has in the last week.. written me a letter and gave me a card. I find them in my room (she will leave it on my bed) or in my work bag. They motivate me! Coming from the childhood that I had there wasn't very much of the mushy stuff. It wasn't any hugs and kisses.. no I love you before we got out of the car for school... no all of us sitting down for dinner together talking about our day.
I feel like this is what she needs and looks for. I learned this after I had her brother; she is very much like me. The things that make me angry or emotional (or did when I was in grade school) bothers her the same way. So, I must change up my parenting style to give her what I feel like I was missing and hopefully this breaks some of the bad habits and cycles.
Dill is the calmest out of all my children. She talks and talks and talks and TALKS but, so did I at her age lol. She deserves everything I can give her plus some and I'm going to give it to her. I want her to be confident and strong. She's already book smart, so we have to make sure she's at least a little street smart. I say that because I could've avoided a lot of stuff if I wasn't so sheltered.
We gotta get her to understand that fashion is a thing too lol she will go to school looking like whatever!
T.j- This boy is the villain.
I call him that but he's just a boy. I had no idea what the hell I was asking for when I prayed for this child to be male. He has pee'd on the floor more times than I can count in the last week. I literally go through gallons of freakin bleach a month. I can't tell you how much money I spend on disinfectant wipes and he eats everything out of the fridge within days of it being purchased.
He is the most selfish child out of the three but, he will melt your soul if you let him. He has told me a few times this week that I was the best mommy. He also told me to go away because he rather be with daddy but, we won't focus on the negative lol. When I asked all the people that I know who has sons how do they do it, they all said that a son’s love compares to no other. I agree. From the time he was born until today Terez Jr has a hold on me. If he is going away and cry because he has to leave my side, it still breaks my heart (for a second because y'all know I be kicking up dust when I’m running away). And the thing that I love most about him is he is most comfortable with being himself no matter where he is. He asks questions and will eat anyone’s food lol. It looks like most times, that he has no home training, but he is extremely outspoken, and I can't help that. I thought that was going to be it for me but then the princess came along...
Lyric aka Your Majesty Puddah.
I cry every time I have to speak on her. She is the newest of the three and she has such a strong demanding personality. She is tiny however, she will kick your butt lol. I've seen her swing on her brother and smack her sister and daddy before! The girl is afraid of not one soul.. and she is the main reason I took on the identity of a Wonder Woman.
With Lyric I crashed right through my fears and doubts and three of my insecurities.
How? and Why didn't this happen with the other two? because I wouldn’t have been able to see it then.
Lyric was a shocker to me. I wasn't ready, and I thought I was in the clear but, the end of February I found out that she was on her way.
I had kept this a secret for half the pregnancy because I wasn't ready!
But God has a way of showing you just how strong you really are. I was afraid I was going to be in the same financial situation.
I got a job in April started working in May and started showing in June lol. I asked God "Please let her be a bald head girl" and you all have seen my baby lol.
I was so afraid of what the world was going to think of me becoming a third time mother and still not married- Now I wish you would fix your mouth to say something about my situation.
I was scheduled for a C-Section and I'm telling you I didn't want one! I talked to Lyric everyday... literally and told her that I was not going to get cut open. I explained to her that I was going to push and that we would work together to get her here... we did.
I don't know why but, I was extremely insecure about having two C-sections. If felt like something was wrong with me. Why couldn't I do what millions of women do every day? And then the silver lining was found. I not only did what women do every day, I also did what women CAN'T do every day and that is VBAC after 2 C-sections. The amount of recognition love and support I got form the staff after Lyric was born was crazy! I told myself that to cut cost that we were not buying formula... and I didn't for about 10 months. If my birth control wasn’t changed I would still be nursing her. Everything that I said would happen did. That warms my heart every time I think about it.
Lyric is closest to me. We sleep in the same bed and, if I don't go to bed when she does she can't sleep. She lets me polish her toes and she now says Mama 2546805463532484999999x's a day lol.
She is where my strength come from. she is my reminder that I am not what people say I'm BEYOND that.
I had a rough time recovering emotionally after having Lyric so I started seeing a therapist. I had never done that before and that is a journey I will continue because I realized a lot about myself after becoming a mother for the third time. This is hard. I also realized that I have a super annoying anxiety issue. It was a few times I found myself crying in the floor in a room at work because I was worried and upset and mad at the same time. When your emotions take over you and you can't breathe or see that is the scariest thing ever.
So my advice is always have a person to call and a journal.
I'm happy to say that I am walking to an area of peace and My Dope Offspring are to thank for it.
I do drink way more wine though... and that’s ok! lol
Getting my daughter to school on time, hearing about how The Power Rangers are LIFE from T.j or, Babbling with Lyric as we sit on the toilet and potty in the bathroom together. Making them dinner (that they may or may not eat lol) and being able to sit down with them to enjoy a talk about our day.. These are the things that keeps me from murdering all of those people who are ok with trying me on a daily basis.
And even when I’m fussing because T.j taught Lyric how to write on the wall and now its marker EVERYWHERE including on them.. these have become the best moments of my entire life.
Enjoy your children