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  • Courtney Bowie

Miss New Booty.

If you don’t know me very well, let me enlighten you on something when it comes to me. I want some work done!! Lol.

I have struggled with my body since the 6th grade. I know that this seems young but, let's be honest… when all the girls were getting boobs and booty, I was getting bigger feet. I was a stick until the 9th and 10th grade, then I was chubby. Mostly what I gained was a fat face and a gut! When I got to the 11th grade I ran track like my life depended on it. I could NOT continue to look like a chipmunk any longer. I hated my body. I hated being strange and growing weird.

My best friend has been doing a good job at keeping me from going down that long road of one plastic surgery to the next for the wrong reasons. She showed me a picture of a women that looked like she had a penis after lipo! They were talking about this was a normal side effect! (Think it’s a joke? Look that mess up!). On a more serious note, she mostly helps me by pushing body positivity into my mind. Year over year I have been moving in the right direction when it comes to being thankful for my thighs that rub together. When I get out of my comfort weight zone, we do some work out challenges and we each do our own forms of yoga (don’t tell her, but I stick with beginners because I’m fat and lazy lol). No but for real, she does such a good job at keeping me realistic when it comes to accepting myself and being normal. I say normal because we all know what Instagram looks like. Perfect. To all my young ladies that may read this- it is perfectly normal to have break outs! Also, as you get older you change and that is ok. To all the moms out there, it’s normal if you have a fupa after you give birth.. I can still fit my youngest in mine. I stay giving kangaroo vibes. Please don’t let me put on an old dress, I’m giving very much Pillsbury Grand Biscuits.

So, what does our bodies look like after 21? What about after 25? What about at 30?

Each year something new happens to me that I stress over. But the truth of the matter is, I do not consistently work out like I should.

I am so use to being that that semi small chick after kid number 1, that I haven’t realized that cake for breakfast puts me at a disadvantage for the rest of the day. Or a large coffee will have me up for a freakin’ week straight. I seriously didn’t understand that my body would change after those babies, and that it would be harder to shed pounds after 25. I had been so hard on myself. For example, I was embarrassed to wear anything other than sweats and leggings for the fear of looking stuffed and pregnant. You couldn’t ask me what size I wore in jeans, because I didn’t own a pair. It was easier this way. Another thing was, I was shopping at the wrong places. My body is not made for Forever 21 size small, because I’m not that lol.

Accepting my body and being happy for every inch of me is my new normal. Even with all of this body positivity I still teeter with the idea of “I want a mommy makeover”. Just a little tummy tuck that will get rid of that second stomach that has lived with me for Eleven Years! I have even thought, “Well, while they’re working on me, I should get the fat transfer to give me some hips and boobs!”

I question this decision so often, because it makes me feel like I’m setting a bad example for my girls. What will I tell them? Doesn’t this depict me hating myself? Won’t this make them feel like they have to be perfect? I have to be a leader, but I must lead by example, right?

Now, I don’t know about you all, but my kids are pretty cool and accepting.

I would imagine that they will understand that if it wasn’t for THEM that I wouldn’t have 2 damn stomachs. Maybe, I would have just one nice cute chin and the thighs wouldn’t be worn out on my leggings, lol. I’m laughing, but I’m so serious.

Ok, now the real tea- What did I decide to do about this situation?

I had a talk with myself and made up my mind that I will seriously try my best to get myself as close to what I feel is perfect FOR ME (I do not want to look like anyone else) by working out.

I decided that I will adjust what I eat, because everything doesn’t work for me anymore. I decided that I will speak positively when I talk about myself, because I’m low key lit! And when I get to the point where I can’t get my stomach any flatter, because the skin is so use to people living in there for 10 months at a time, then maybe I will get a little work done. Not because I want to be pretty for Instagram or Facebook. Not because I want a man to think I’m perfect. Not because I want to be a swimsuit model, but because quite frankly it’s WTF I want to do.

I will tell my girls to make decisions based on what they want not at the mercy of others. I will teach them that normalcy is the new PERFECT. I will save this post for them to read later to show them that even their mother struggled with her weight and being positive about her body at one point in time. And If they decide to get some work done after having children- I will change their diapers again. I hope they will change mine if I decide to get this tuck and bbl, lol.


Court Bee

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