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  • Courtney Bowie

Mastering the Potty 101

Ok! Potty training is the quickest way to go bald.. I don't know what it is with having children and trying to teach them how to go but, Jesus!

Let me go back a little.

My daughter Dill- I had no issue with her. She pooped on herself once with big girl undies on and she was like "This is Ascusting!" (I got her point). After that day she was done with that.. it was in the toilet every time.

Now let's talk about my son. OH MY GOD!

First of all, he hated me so much and treated me like I had killed his favorite Power Ranger every time I asked him to go!

Then, we had so many up's and down's it was out of control. He was crying, I was crying, we were a pure mess.

I will say this as well, I've never used so much bleach in my entire life!

This post is dedicated to all the mom's crying right now because they have to spend another $20.00 on pull-ups.

This is also for the mom's that have to wash another outfit that has poop in it because, you thought they were ready and you put the big kid underwear on him today.. and now it's a code brown.

From the top now.

Tj turned 1 and I thought he was ready for the potty for 2 reasons;

1. Because EVERYONE in the black households makes it seem like when a child is 1 they can grasp the concept.

2. Because it was so easy getting Dill to go.

NOT THE CASE. Although my little man was walking and talking he didn't really get that every time you have to go it HAS to go in the toilet. So, I tried to get a routine together.. Every morning when he wakes up Potty.. 2 hours later Potty.. if he has something to drink 20 minutes after that Potty.. didn't work for me.

I felt like he knew what I was trying to do and he was like "Lol she crazy if she thinks that I'm going to pee in this toilet everyday all day". It was rare that I caught him before he peed or pooped. I always got him to the toilet just minutes after he had already went. He also showed very little interest in the potty so I was frustrating him. After those few weeks I put training on the shelf and we revisited it later on.

Now Tj is 2. Everybody and they Mama (literally) was trying to call me out on MY son still being in pull-ups! "You need to teach your son how to use the bathroom!" "I mean you're not working what are you doing"? "Woman to Woman you could be doing more for your son he is 2 years old still in damn pull-ups, I shouldn't have to spend money on this". "Good Mothers RAISE and TEACH their children.. what are you doing"?

Now that I look back at this I should've stood up for myself a long time ago because these people who had all of this to say hadn't had a kid in 30 years if they were even a parent at all! sooooo..yeah..

I felt some type of way after a while because, everything I was doing wasn't working. Instead of me thinking about my son I started listening to what everyone was saying about me and our situation. I was annoyed and I started to get upset with the process. So now it was less liquids and longer sitting times... trust me that didn't work either. Why? because he still wasn't ready!!!

The first thing it says in every book and YouTube video is "Wait until your child is ready. Here are some signs Blah Blah Blah"

I was criticized "You should spank him he knows better" oh and don't let them get mad at me, talking about my son not going to the toilet was the only thing I heard till I started hanging up. I still waited.

He was still waking up wet in the morning so I waited..

He was still not able to say I have to pee.. so I waited..

Now Tj is 3.

He hasn't pooped on himself in weeks. At that moment I felt like no poop we can start this journey again. The thing is he was spending the night out. *** Let's make this clear, if everyone is not on the same pages as the parents then that will cause a disconnect in the training process***

I can't tell you how many times he came home with a pull-up full of pee! That didn't help me. At this point I felt like he did understand what it meant to go to the potty but, because no one was making him go when he was out and about he thought it was ok to continue on like he was. Tj thought I was crazy.

Don't worry the story gets so much worse.

So one day it was me and my son hanging I had a few days off of work. We sat down and I said "Can I talk to you"? He answer and said "sure mommy".

Me: Tj where does pee pee go?

Tj: In the toilet!

Me: Good job! Now I have another question... where does poop go?

Tj: In the toilet!

Me: YES!! Give me a five! Now why do you pee pee on yourself?

Tj: Well I did..

Me: Ummmm that makes no sense. Let's try again.. Why do you pee pee on yourself?

Tj: Well pee pee goes in the toilet not on the floor and not in my underwear..

Me: Yes.. I agree and you're extremely to big to pee on yourself. Babies do that!

Tj: Like Lyric? Lyric is a baby.

Me: Yes like Lyric. So can you please cut the crap and go in the toilet.. IF you don't I will have to call the Power Rangers and they're going to delete all the episodes and you can't watch that show ever again! And because the show won't play they will all die and you don't want that!

Tj: WHAT!!!!

Me: Dead!

Tj: I gotta go pee!

Me: :-)

(I know I know why did I lie to him? Because Damnit NOTHING ELSE WORKED! lol You gotta do what you gotta do.)

That weekend I had Tj wear boxers and told him to listen to his body. I didn't even let him put a pull-up on at night. I wanted him to understand that he was no longer a baby that he was the man of the house and as the man.. he can't be wearing no pull-up.

I wore a t-shirt and boxers too that weekend. Every time I went to the bathroom he went with me and we took turns.

What I learned:

I had to really connect with my son on a level that he could understand when HE could understand it. Because of that, for the last month, we have been pull-up free!

I never really used the potty chair (yuck!) we put a seat on the toilet so he can flush (Kids love to flush the toilet).

When his father comes to pick him up I do NOT send him with pull-ups. That to me was going to undo everything that I just did. I tend to not go places where I wouldn't trust the public restroom and, I try to avoid bathroom breaks by going within his potty schedule. If I have to grocery shop we cut the time to an hour tops.

Mall trips an hour and a half (I need time at Ulta! lol)

Travel time from one side of town to the other ... Right before he is ready to sleep right after he has went to potty twice.

He still fights me a little but not as much and that's major for Tj and I.

At this point we've only had three major accidents and that's because he wants to play and not go.. but he get's popped and a time out for that.

The reason why I'm ok with him getting popped now is because, I know he understands the concept!

Motherhood is the biggest learning process ever and trust me no two kids are alike! This was not a breeze like it was with Dill however, I really learned to be the Parent no matter what was being said around me. I went at my sons pace. I know what's best for my son and we made it work for us.

Stay Strong


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